Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Of Phoenix Tears and Unicorn Blood..

8th std, 1st hour, Math class: I forget to take my Math notes to class. A very senior,quite strict teacher handling Math. She walks in, and I'm almost ready to walk out.(Read as get thrown out).
Before she begins the routine of asking students without notes to walk out, I go up and tell her I don't have my notes, and that I'm extremely sorry. She says it's ok! Get it tomorrow.I'm thinking, "Did I hear that right?".. I go back to my seat, and I'm not happy that she hasn't punished me.. I feel downright miserable.

8th std, Chemistry, 1st test results day: Tr.Alfonsa, calls my name, and says, Sandhya, 17/17. I'm not in the least amused by her announcement, I'm infact beduffled. I know she's given me marks by mistake, coz I already know my mistakes in that paper. I take my paper silently and walk back. After she has finished distributing all the papers,I go back to her, and tell her in the most pathetic of tones, that she's given me one and a half marks where I don't deserve it. I've made a mistake, she has't noticed it.She smiles at me and says, "It's ok. Keep it". I'm thinking Why!, but I surely can't argue with her, so I go back, a little happy, obviously to the bemusement of many classmates.

Fast forward, 2nd year engineering: The Master Profiler, two others- one of them who is really good, and me. CCD, Ashoka Pillar. Tropical Iceberg, only offered
to me. I wonder if I deserve it, because I sure don't think I do. An interesting discussion, which only the four know, and will remember. Atleast I remember, till date. A promise made, which would soon be broken.(Not explained at length, coz all you need to know here is that a promise was made, which wouldn't be lived upto).

These instances aren't randomly picked. They're chosen very carefully like pieces of art for a personal museum.Wish I could explain better. Sigh.

As the discerning reader might have already guessed, I wasn't(yes, wasn't-in the past tense) the most forgiving person, and the last person I would forgive was myself.

This realisation came about solely because of the best friend, and it was a very striking realisation at that.Ever since I realised that,it was a daily battle to forgive myself for all the mistakes that had happened, be it tiny ones like not taking a book to class,or big ones like not
accepting the fact that others could forgive me.

The Phoenix had been reduced to ashes, only to realize it would be reborn again.. coz yes, a Phoenix never dies, it is simply reborn.. And Phoenix tears heal the most fatal of wounds, and unicorn blood makes you immortal.

4th year engineering: The Master Profiler, The Best Friend and I. Freedom Park. Breezy weather. A discussion. A day when I was offered help to win the
battle, to ensure that the Phoenix rises faster. But some battles have to be fought alone, coz if you don't live through the storm, you'll never find
the afterward calm.So I remained impassive, having only a will to battle the storm, and to see if I make it to the calm!

A whole semester later, the battle was won;
But without the friend, it wouldn't have been done;
Not with the moon, not even the sun;
Coz sometimes all you need, is just that one!

Sounds cryptic to the common eye? Well that's the intention, my friend! *A wicked grin*

As I stand at another crossroad today,
to anyone who asks who I am..

I'm as shallow as a stream,and as deep as an ocean..
As sane as the sage and as mad as the poet,
As calm as the sea, as raged as the storm;
I'm as black as Lucifer, as white as Gabriel..

The question my friend, is not who I am..
The question,is who you think I am.

Hope and despair,
Day and Night,
Silence and Words,
Virtues and Sins,
The Saint and the Sinner;
Death and Life,
Fire and Ice;
Everything becomes me,
Coz I'm everything, and yet I'm nothing,
for what you see in me,
shows me who you are..

But what happens when a Novice Profiler meets a Master Profiler??
The answer, I believe, is nothing short of Magic!!

Whether you believe in Magic-or not, doesn't really matter, because a Phoenix is still a Phoenix, and you-and I, are a notch above that.

8 comments:

  1. This is the BEST article I've EVER read!! I really don't know how to express the feelings inside. It's a mixture - on one hand I'm getting Big time complex! On the other hand I can only visualize your brilliant future as a writer... TRUST ME!! :) :)

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  2. Luvvvdddd it... Thought-provoking... Reminded me of some of the times people've been biased in and against my favor...Though, I wonder if I'm right in guessing who the Master Profiler is... :P

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  3. And the Lucifer and Gabriel line could be mistaken to be a racist line :-/ :-/

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. @Rinita: You are closer than anyone else to coming close to guessing who it is, coz you are one of my few friends who happen to know the person in question! :)
    And I only mean the Devil and the Angel!! I ain't racist :D

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  6. @Shru: Thanks! And I can find a 1000 things in u to get a complex.. Don't provoke me :D

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  7. U r totally different..
    N I never knew so many things abt u...
    I respect u more now...
    glad u r my friend...
    -Chinmay.

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